Politics: the Epic Tragic Comedy

So, I was minding my own business, eatin’ some soup… cream tomato soup… my mouth, it waters. When all of a sudden, out of nowhere comes a little news story from AP. Should I attempt a quote? I don’t think so. Basically—no, literally—our Mr. President has decided that, because we are doing bad economically, they are cutting federal funding for two years… to all fed employees. They can still work, and are encouraged to. They just don’t get paid, pure and simple.

Now just hold on a sec, think about it. These are people’s lives we are talking about, and we think cutting their funding is worth it? Really? How are they supposed to buy stuff to boost the economy without pay? Not to mention the things not getting cut before them. Jet planes for politicians? Necessity. Parties at the taxpayer’s expense? Boosts moral and keep the public informed. Thousands, nay, tens of thousands… one more time… two million employees without pay for two years? Expendable! … What? Is this a proper time to use four letter words? Fire them. That’s two. Get rid of these morons. My niece could do a better job of running the country than these guys, and she’s one. She wouldn’t do anything—a big improvement to be sure.

Calm down, let’s think this through. Deep breath, exhale. Wow, I need to see my imaginary therapist. He’s Romanian.

Tell me about your troubles.

Well, I think the political realm is a big joke.

Interesting. When was the first time you thought this?

Well, I was in my chair in Texas when this reporter on TV said then McCain was nominated for the Republican Party, and some senator I never heard of won the presidency, and I got to thinking about Clinton getting away with murder and our past governor buying out the banks, and it struck me. This is funny.

Go on.

Think about it, some old guy comes up and says, “I am not pro-abortion, I’m pro-choice,” and everybody cheers because he said everybody wanted to hear. “He doesn’t like abortion, like me!” “He will let me have an abortion, I like him!” The only reason he got the support he did was that we all hoped he’d die in office and let that Alaskan lady be President. That’s hilarious, it’s like something you would see in one of those office comedies, like Dilbert, except with politics.

Tell me more.

Well, it didn’t matter, cause the stranger won. He talked air so much, I really didn’t know what to expect. “Change is good.” “Yes we can.” Such things left me in the dark, clueless. Then it happened: nothing. For one year, nothing happened. Then some changes happened. Money got misplaced, soldiers were sent home, war happened, you know, the usual passive sentences. The the House was “won.” Another good passive sentence. Republicans got it, and Democrats still run the rest. Both didn’t really do any good. And now, just when I think that our President wanted a super government to rule the populace by fooling them, this happens. Two million. What were they thinking? To use the money to create jobs for the people they laid off? Pay off the debt from the credit cards those people will have to use to buy food? I don’t get it, does he want them to love him or does he want them to starve? I can’t tell anymore.

Interesting, please, continue.

Well, I got to thinking some more. How could all this insanity happen? It’s like I’m in a crazy comic strip with a doomed government. Then I saw the light. God is writing the story of the world, right? Well, maybe He got tired of just making good vs. evil stories. I mean, He’s still writing this one, and more like it, but maybe He likes different genres. I can imagine the angels rolling in their seats as they watch C-SPAN and CNN. Maybe it’s okay to laugh, just so we don’t cry, because we all know the Dilbert jokes are real, but laughing at them will make us feel better, and in the end only bring joy. And if God can laugh at all this, and if the angels are really covering their face, shedding tears from holding in giggles, then I guess I can laugh, too. Maybe it’s not so bad after all. Sure, we all get poor quality food from buffets, but not many of us are hungry. And those who are still have a reason or two to smile. One of them being how incredibly messed up the guys in charge are. Who knows, laughing at it could make people see how ridiculous they really are. But I doubt that.

Thanks, imaginary therapist, you work just as well as a real one. If you will excuse me, I’m going to write a book called, “How to Survive being in a Tragic Comedy: What roles you should and shouldn’t be.” Guess what my inspiration is.

Hope you liked it. If so, maybe share it, comment, or link. Many thanks.

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