Striking a Nerve, or, Love and Marriage

(Disclaimer: I do not own this photo! I found it on the internet, just like everyone else, so don’t sue me, please. It’s from, FYI. [Editor’s note: replaced with a bigger version ripped from Heh.])

I think I want to smash a hornets’ nest. Yes, I think I do, so let me step into the room with a statement that will knock reformers’ socks off. Why is courtship so great when arranged marriage is everywhere in the Bible?

Oh, yes! I said it! You have no idea how long I’ve built the courage to say that. As soon as I thought of it, it took me at least fifteen seconds of going back and forth before I decided to bring it up. A new record of hesitation for me.

Let’s go with the first marriage, Adam and Eve. God created them and said to be fruitful and multiply. Pretty intense stuff, huh? But didn’t they have a choice? What if they only wanted two kids? Could they afford more? Well, considering the first two we hear about were male, and one killed the other, it doesn’t look like that would have worked in the long term. I’m just saying is all.

Let’s look at another one. Isaac got married. Yeah, I like Isaac. You know, Abraham’s son who got married to a girl whom the servant chose with a sign from God. Her parents seemed pleased with the deal of payment.

But what about all those horror stories we see in movies of aristocrats giving their daughters away to jerk princes just to make peace between those countries? Doesn’t that make them a commodity? Does this not dehumanize them? What about love? Don’t they have to love each other before they get married?

Where is that in Scripture? Yes, it commands husbands to love their wives, but if they are husband and wife already, does this mean they loved one another before hand? I’m not saying it is a bad thing for them to love one another before hand, but hey, God set the institution up, so shouldn’t He have set up a clearer system?

Ruth and Boaz chose one another, sort of… not really. They didn’t have a real courtship period either. Never mind, bad example for a counter point.

Ah! Here we go. Jacob and Rachel… and Leah… hmmm, interesting. He was put through a fourteen year courtship period. Doesn’t this mean that courtship is the better way to go?

Discounting the fact that the marriage of the three caused a civil war in Israel for a huge part of its history, what if only Rachel got hitched to Jacob. Isn’t this a Biblical example anyway? Only if the idol stealing Rachel did was just as Biblical. Just because it happens in Scripture by sinning people doesn’t make it Biblical.

Samson chose Delilah! Oops, never mind…

Um… we don’t know if Joseph chose Mary… at fourteen… but we don’t want to go there, because then we would have to say the age of fourteen is appropriate for marriage for young ladies. (It is, by the way.)

Uh… um… ah… oh… It is not UNBiblical. Neither is dating, right? My parents dated and are now a healthy Christian family. They said they wouldn’t let us ever date, but hey. That’s right, my and my sister’s significant others were chosen by the parents of both sides and presented to us, not the other way around. Gasp! I’m a freak! A sappy-happy freak, no less. Can it be abused? Yes, fathers can force daughters into an unhappy marriage with a rapist/murderer if they are unGodly, and dating and courtship can lead to happy marriages. But who knows the children more than the parent if they are in a Godly home? The UNGodly don’t have to get married as far as I’m concerned. It’s a God centered institution after all. Let them be hot or cold, let them be as heathenistic… heathenastic… forget it, bad as possible so that the simple may have a clear choice between good and evil. As for me and my house, we will choose the most Biblical way, not because of some self-righteousness that says we are more holy than you, but because we like God’s examples better than the “reformed” self-righteous path to holiness. Strange considering I’m reformed… I think so anyways. Bring on the rants, I still want to address this issue, but I’m tired for now. Screaming internally does that.

Hope you liked it. If so, maybe share it, comment, or link. Many thanks.

Comments are disabled for this post